Sunday, January 3, 2010

Big Decisions

Feeling Sad
Hearing Silence

Hubby and I have had to make some big decisions lately and we made the biggest one today.

With the rising costs of health insurance and the fact that we are self insured we have decided to drop the maternity coverage on our policy. Hubby has also decided to undergo the big V!! The chances are slim that we could even get pregnant but it seems to be the responsible thing to do.

It is almost bittersweet that we made this final decision today. Today was my due date four years ago. We should be celebrating a four year old's birthday and instead we are deciding and celebrating that our family is perfect as is.

I was so devastated four years ago.

I had no idea how I would live through the heartache and despair.

I had no idea what was in store for me.

I had no idea that I would face the death of a loved one, cancer in another loved one and a second miscarriage.

I faced all of that and survived it.

I think Hubby & I were able to make this difficult decision because of what we have been through together the last few years. I also think all of this has made us a much closer family unit.

This decision wasn't easy and I am sure I will second guess myself more than once over the next few months but I am happy we made the decision together.

Moving past the "What if?" has been difficult and I am sure it will continue to be difficult BUT I can also delight in the fact that our "What is" is actually pretty fantastic!!

1 comment:

  1. Wow - That is a tough decision. I am so happy that you are at peace with it even though I am sure there is sadness as well. Prayers for you and your family which is truly fantastic! :)