Hearing The dishwasher
I've been somewhat able to move on lately. My mind has not been as obsessed with babies since my due date has past. I was feeling pretty good.
Then last night I heard that Hubby's cousin is pregnant...AGAIN. This is her fourth in less than four years.
I was stunned. She just had a baby at the end of June. I am a little bitter. Unfortunately, in my heart her life is a little entangled in my miscarriage past. I was pregnant at her baby shower in July 3 years ago. I soon miscarried after that. Since that first miscarriage she has had THREE babies while I have had two miscarriages and now she is pregnant again. WTH?? It so brings back the chorus of "What about me????"
Realistically it's not like I'm jealous of that situation. I would in no way want four babies under the age of four. It just stings a little and totally makes my heart hurt!
I am sure my MIL will be feeling it as well. Her brother is the grandfather to all these babies and he has gone from no grandchildren to what will be 7 in less than 4 years. That family has three boys and one girl and all the boys are married and have just started popping out babies. The daughter is getting married in the spring so I am sure she'll be pregnant soon after. They are a fertile bunch. :) Poor Mar...she has only the one and is desperate for more grandchildren.
I did not sleep well (partly becasue Hubby is gone but also because I could not shut my mind off). and then when I finally fell asleep...I dreamt of babies. I can't escape it.
This feels like such a pity party and I don't want to feel this way. It's totally random how any news of what is going on with her totally knocks me for a loop.
I so need to go drink the kool-aid at their house!