Thursday, March 25, 2010

Just Another Day...

Feeling Conflicted
Hearing Silence

My heart just aches today and I am feeling very alone. I do this to myself. I don't tell anyone how I'm feeling or what I'm thinking.

Two years ago I had a miscarriage. So two years & one day ago I was still hopeful. Two years & one day ago I had the most delicious secret. Two years and one day ago I was still pregnant and happy and feeling blessed.

I have been beyond obsessed with wanting to have a baby the last few days. For the most part I really don't think about it anymore. I have a great life and am happy with what I have.

But...

In my most secret dreams...I dream of having another baby. I am really not hopeful about having a another baby anymore. It is just a little wish locked deep in my most secret thoughts.

So today I am sad. Sad for the babies I've lost and for the babies that never will be.

I am sad but I am also dreaming... dreaming of sweet baby cheeks, baby sighs and delightful baby breath.

Sad but dreaming...

The end...

Feeling Content Hearing Tiny Baby Snores It is time to move on from here. I am no longer enduring my monthly heartbreak. Miraculously this t...