Feeling Conflicted
Hearing Silence
My heart just aches today and I am feeling very alone. I do this to myself. I don't tell anyone how I'm feeling or what I'm thinking.
Two years ago I had a miscarriage. So two years & one day ago I was still hopeful. Two years & one day ago I had the most delicious secret. Two years and one day ago I was still pregnant and happy and feeling blessed.
I have been beyond obsessed with wanting to have a baby the last few days. For the most part I really don't think about it anymore. I have a great life and am happy with what I have.
But...
In my most secret dreams...I dream of having another baby. I am really not hopeful about having a another baby anymore. It is just a little wish locked deep in my most secret thoughts.
So today I am sad. Sad for the babies I've lost and for the babies that never will be.
I am sad but I am also dreaming... dreaming of sweet baby cheeks, baby sighs and delightful baby breath.
Sad but dreaming...
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The end...
Feeling Content Hearing Tiny Baby Snores It is time to move on from here. I am no longer enduring my monthly heartbreak. Miraculously this t...
I am right there with you E. I dreamt about it last night... told my husband...
ReplyDeleteSorry you're hurting.
Much love,
E.